Perfect Couple

We don’t commit now. We don’t see the point. They’ve always said there are so many fish in the sea, but never before has that sea of fish been right at our fingertips on OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr, Dattch, take your pick. We can order up a human being in the same way we can order up pad thai on Seamless. We think intimacy lies in a perfectly-executed string of emoji. We think effort is a “good morning” text. We say romance is dead, because maybe it is, but maybe we just need to reinvent it. Maybe romance in our modern age is putting the phone down long enough to look in each other’s eyes at dinner. Maybe romance is deleting Tinder off your phone after an incredible first date with someone. Maybe romance is still there, we just don’t know what it looks like now.

http://inspiyr.com/5-steps-to-make-2013-the-best-year-for-your-relationship/

How To Have An Awesome Relationship

1. Talk to your partner

Sit down with your partner to establish goals for both you as individuals and as a couple.

You don’t need to make this a formal meeting complete with an Excel spreadsheet!

Perhaps grab lattes at the local coffee shop and spend some casual time together.

Make sure you are ready to listen and are really open to any ideas from your partner. Most importantly, let them finish their thoughts without interruption.

A perfect couple, both in and out of the bedroom, firmly focuses on communication, so always try  to really listen to one another.

Related: 7 Ways to Have Lasting Relationships

2. Put your plan into action

After you and your partner have completed your brainstorming session on new ways to add some spark to your relationship, you should make these thoughts concrete and actionable.

Need help putting your plan into action? Consider using a book such as Carole Gaskell’s “Your Pocket Life Coach: Take 10 Minutes a Day to Transform Your Life and Your Work,” which can help you to efficiently move forward with your action plan.

3. Focus on changes you yourself can make

Some couples focus too much on what they think their partner should be doing or changing instead of reflecting on how they themselves can be the catalyst for change. Trying to change someone is just a recipe for disaster!

Related: 4 Reasons You Should Stop Trying To Change People

Think about what things you can do to contribute to the relationship. Remember that you are half of the equation of the union with your partner.

Whether you want to have better or more frequent sex, more couple time, or new adventures, you need to think about what you can do to make it happen instead of blaming your significant other for any perceived deficiencies.

By being honest with yourself, you might also uncover some of your subconscious faults, which once corrected should allow you to be a better partner and communicator.

4. Enjoy the moment

If you want to have a deeper sexual relationship, it helps to get into a more sensual state of mind. A large part of feeling sexier and living a sexier lifestyle is to always try to slow down and enjoy the moment.

Even if the “moment” is only the thirty minutes you spend together every evening after work and after putting the kids to bed:  make that time count.

Related: How to Argue in a Relationship

Take pleasure in the little things, such as savoring a well-cooked meal, taking a relaxing shower together, or even taking turns giving massages.

These types of simple activities can help you to relax and further enjoy time with your partner. They are also multi-sensory experiences which can get you more into a sensual 5. 5. Hit the sheets (together!)

While millions of people resolve to exercise more at the beginning of a year, those few who actually do it see an immediate payoff.

Revving up your heart rate a few times a week is a great way to boost your confidence, increase libido and make you more attractive to your partner.

Remember that sex is a great way to burn calories, so be sure you put in as much time in the bedroom as you do at the gym for a well-toned and happy body…and a fulfilling relationship.

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Perfect-Couple

Bibliography

• Varon, J. (2015). This is how we date now. [Online] [24/07/2016] http://thoughtcatalog.com/jamie-varon/2014/12/this-is-how-we-date-now/

Advices for a better relationship

Source: http://fbcoverstreet.com/facebook-cover/perfect-couple

Nowadays it's really important to have a good realtionship between two persons, a couple specially, There are some advices that you may follow1. Do the things you did the first year you were dating.As the months and years roll on, we tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpants and get lazy in our relationship. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our mate. Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. Now start doing them again.
2. Ask for what you want.Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.

3. Become an expert on your partner.Think about who your mate really is and what excites him or her (both physically and emotionally). We can become consumed by what WE THINK he/she wants, as opposed to tuning in to what truly resonates with the other person. Remember that if it’s important to your partner, it doesn’t have to make sense to you. You just have to do it.


4. Don't ask "how was your day."At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” Generally, that boring question will yield a boring answer such as, “Fine, how was yours?” This does nothing to improve your connection and instead, can actually damage it because you're losing the opportunity to regularly connect in a small way.Instead, try asking things like, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, with the added benefit of gaining greater insight into your significant other.



 

Source:http://inspiyr.com/5-steps-to-make-2013-the-best-year-for-your-relationship/

5. Create a weekly ritual to check in with one another.It can be short or long but it begins with asking each other what worked and didn’t work about the previous week and what can be done to improve things this coming week. Additionally, use this opportunity to get on the same page with your schedules, plan a date night and talk about what you would like to see happen in the coming days, weeks, and months in your relationship. Without an intentional appointment to do a temperature check, unmet needs and resentments can build.

6. Keep it sexy.What might change in your relationship if both you and your partner committed to increasing the behaviors you each find sexy and limiting those that aren’t? Think about this in the broadest form. “Sexy” can certainly refer to bedroom preferences, but it also represents what excites us about our mate in our day-to-day lives. Do you find it sexy if he/she helps with the housework? Do you find it "unsexy" when he/she uses the restroom with the door wide open? Talk about what it specifically means to "keep it sexy" in your relationship. Be amazed, be humored, be inspired!
7. Get creative about the time you spend together.Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and watch how a little novelty can truly rejuvenate your relationship. On a budget and can’t go big? Jump on the internet to look for “cheap date ideas” and be blown away at the plethora of options. Can’t afford a sitter? Try swapping babysitting time with friends that have kids. It’s free and they will likely be thrilled to take your kids because they will get to take advantage when they drop their kids at your place.

8. Get it on.Unless you have committed to an asexual partnership, sex, sexual contact and touching (kissing, holding hands, cuddling etc.) are vital components of a romantic relationship. The frequency is of course, up to you and it's imperative that you discuss your ideas about it in order to prevent resentment. Rare are the moments when both partners are “in the mood” at the exact same second, but that doesn’t mean that you have to decline their advances. Remind yourself that you will almost always “get there” after the first few minutes and that an intimate interaction of any kind builds connection and elevates your mood and health. Bear in mind that you are never required to say “yes.” If you truly don’t feel it, the best thing you can do is to postpone. Just make sure that you initiate or accept within a reasonable amount of time thereafter.

9. Take a (mental) vacation, everyday.Life and work distractions can become paramount in our minds and that leaves little time or energy for our partner. Practice the art of “Wearing the Relationship Hat.” This means that (barring any emergencies or deadlines), we are fully present when we're with our mate. We truly hear what they are saying (instead of pretending to listen), we leave our distractions behind and we don’t pick them up again until the sun comes up and we walk out the door. Some tips to improve communication Sadly, we aren’t born with the innate ability to effectively communicate but it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn. Use the following techniques to better navigate and limit the tension in your relationship:

10. Take "fight breaks" when you need them.Before you’ve hit the point of no return and as you see the stress beginning to escalate, one or both of you can call a break so that cooler heads can prevail. The crux of this tool lies in the fact that you must pick a specific time to revisit the conversation (I.e. 10 minutes from now, 2:00pm on Tuesday etc.) so that closure can be achieved.

Source:

• 
  
• Raven, K. (2010) Perfect Couple (Consulted: 26/07/2016) Available in: https://www.google.com.ec/search?q=perfect+couple&biw=1517&bih=741&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi8tJj-2pPOAhXD1h4KHYdlDB8Q_AUIBigB&dpr=0.9#imgrc=MOTIwmKKomY5yM%3A
  
  Petter, I. (2009) 5 Advices (Consulted: 26/07/2016) Available in: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13321/13-tips-to-make-a-good-relationship-great.html

Feminism or Masochism

It has come to my attention that some equality movements want to curb freedom of speech.  An example of this is the recent attempt to ban page 3 because it was inappropriate and degrading to women.  The word I noticed most was ‘ban’ which suggested controlling of what people can publish or even see.  What I think I’m seeing more and more often is signs of attempted repression by use of the moral          

high ground and these movement titles (such 

as ‘feminism’).  This article focuses on feminism as it is something that I hear about on a daily basis and seems to be the most hypocritical and confused of any modern movement.

Source: Chanel S/S 15

Also,  feminist politics may not enter into the mind explicitly during the throes of fantasy or love-making; but the fact that women may be increasingly interested in reading about, and perhaps partaking in, sex that deals openly with power relationships does not represent a retreat from equality. In fact, it may count as evidence that we’ve edged closer to it than we thought.  

Feminism started, as most know, with an outcry for equality.  This meant votes for women and the ability to make choices like who to marry and what to wear.  Thankfully women won most of what they wanted.  Men no longer oppress women as normality and although equality has not been fully reached and there are still some men who oppress women illegally, social norm is that women are free, voting and working citizens.  Ideally feminism should now focus on other oppressed women both worldwide and victims to spousal abuse and sexual abuse and I’m sure right minded feminists do this.

However, the feminist movement recently seems to have started focussing on how society has adapted to this in bad ways by sexualising and objectifying women’s bodies.  They both suggest that women who sleep around and wear inappropriately exposing clothes are sluts, and that men who look at, admire or appreciate these women or images of nude women, are potential rapists and by the mere act of looking are ‘raping women with their eyes’.  To me these views go back to a masochist society in which women were required to cover up all their skin in order to prevent men gawking while men were expected to only court a woman by strictest guidelines in the presence of the male family member that basically owns her.  A modern example may be Muslim societies that suggest that if a woman shows her hair she deserves to be raped and that men can’t help themselves!

It is true that there are men out there who abuse women but why is it that a man can no longer admit to being attracted to a woman without it being called objectification.  Try natural human thoughts and an instinct to seek out a suitable mate.  If we adhered to the rules of these modern feminists, the human race would die out; if men weren’t allowed to be attracted to women publicly or, God forbid, hit on a woman in case she felt it to be too forward or her friend felt that she wasn’t pretty enough, then no one would ever get married or have children (unless of course we went back to arranged marriages!).  Equally if women had to cover up any of their female beauty whether it is their body, hair or face then the same result could be expected.

Source

• The official student newspaper of UPSU (2014) Feminism or Masochism

[Retrieved from: http://theknowledgeplymouth.co.uk/feminism-or-masochism/]

• Lowder, B. (2012) Is submissive sex anti-feminism.

[Retrieved from: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/04/17/masochism_and_feminism_is_submissive_sex_bad_for_equality_.html]

St. Valentine's Day around the world

St. Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day Celebration

http://learnenglishteens.britishcouncil.org/uk-now/
read-uk/valentines-day

Saint Valentine's Day festival is celebrated in a big way in countries around the world! It is interesting to note that the popularity of this ancient festival has grown several folds and is said to be increasing by the year as more and more people are getting influenced by idea of celebrating love and lovers. The present generation holds the festival in high regard and celebrates the day by expressing love not just to their sweethearts but everyone they hold dear and special.

Valentine's Day Celebration in Present Times

In present times, Valentine's Day Festival celebrations are massive in several countries across the globe. The festival has emerged as a popular dating and gift-giving festival and therefore has a major social and economic significance. It may be noted that Valentine's Day started as a romantic festival but today the festival has increased in scope. These days, Valentine's Day is essentially regarded as festival that celebrates love between individuals and not just lovers. People therefore wish ‘Happy Valentine's Day' to parents, teachers, siblings, friends or any other person special to them.

Though there are various traditions and customs associated with the festival, the most popular way of celebrating Valentine’s Day is by expressing love to sweethearts and dear ones with an exchange of gifts. Some of the most traditional Valentine's Day gifts exchanged between lovers are fresh flowers, chocolates and cards. Jewelry is also fast emerging as the most sought after Valentine's Day gift for women. In the modern technologically advanced age, exchange of text messages between friends and loved ones has become a norm.

http://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/valentines-day-and-judaism/

Going on dates with beloved is the other major way of celebrating Valentine's Day Festival. Restaurants see a busy time as people celebrate the day of romance with a candle light dinner. People also participate in Valentine's Day dance parties and balls organized by various clubs and hotels. Private parties are also organized in homes and farmhouses where young and the old have a blast. Some couple use the occasion to propose their beloved while some chose to get engaged on the festival that celebrates love and lovers.

What Do People Do?

Many people celebrate their love for their partner by sending cards or letters, giving gifts or flowers and arranging meals in restaurants or romantic nights in hotels. People who would like to have a romantic relationship with somebody may use the occasion to make this known, often anonymously. Valentine's cards are often decorated with images of hearts, red roses or Cupid. Common Valentine's Day gifts are flowers chocolates, candy, lingerie and champagne or sparkling wine. However, some people use the occasion to present lavish gifts, such as jewelry. Many restaurants and hotels have special offers at this time. These can include romantic meals or weekend breaks.

Many people around the world celebrate Valentine’s Day by showing appreciation for the people they love or adore. Some people take their loved ones for a romantic dinner at a restaurant while others may choose this day to propose or get married. Many people give greeting cards, chocolates, jewelry or flowers, particularly roses, to their partners or admirers on Valentine’s Day.

Bibliography

• SCFI. (2015). St. Valentine’s Day. [Online] (15/07/2016). http://www.stvalentinesday.org/valentines-day-celebration.html
  
  
• Time and date. (2016). Valentine’s Day. [Online] (15/07/2016) http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/common/valentine-day 

Why we don´t need to celebrate Saint Valentine’s Day.

Every once a year, we get to celebrate something unique and special. It could be a day for the heroes, a friend’s birthday or a mother’s day. Come Sunday, we’ll be celebrating St. Valentines Day, the day of you, the lovers.

Valentines should be a day that crowns it all, a day that celebrates what you have done for each other.

Celebrating Valentine's Day can distract you from the issues in your relationship.

http://www.metalinjection.net/latest-news/
the-ultimate-anti-valentines-day-playlist

If you spend enough time with any one person, the two of you are will have issues. While encountering challenges isn’t a bad thing, Valentine’s Day could provide an unhealthy distraction from the things that the two of you need to work out. The roses and reservations can create a “honeymoon effect,” pushing your challenges to the backburner, only to resurrect themselves at a later date…with a vengeance!

Celebrating Valentine's Day could be a sign that your relationship is failing.

Unfortunately for some couples, this is the only day that they spend together. If you find yourself and your significant other becoming two ships that pass in the night, then Valentine’s Day—romantic day that it can be—could be the telltale sign that your relationship is on the rocks. A strong relationship will be a “Valentine’s Day EVERYDAY” coupling, with acts of love and adoration occurring regularly, which include spending time together.

Celebrating Valentine’s Day could reveal to you that the two of you need to re-kindle your passion for each other and your relationship. 

Are the roses and reservations the celebratory mainstay? Or, can he or she expect to be surprised on February 14th? If your Valentine's Day is predictable, which means you know exactly what you're going to do; when you're going to do it; and what romantic little trinket you're going to get, then it could me a sign that the romance and the spontaneity has waned.

Experience of a couple

Over the past few years, I have been a little more irritated with many of the holidays we celebrate in America. I feel they have been taken over by the retailers. Christmas has been completely overwhelmed with an intense focus on shopping and spending money. Valentine’s Day is no different. It has become the holiday all about flowers, chocolates, cards, and food.

I like to be spontaneous when it comes to showing my wife that I love her. There isn’t much fun going on when she expects to get some card or dinner on a specified day.

The short answer is that I don’t need an official holiday to tell me when I should show affection to my wife.

Written by: Lady Verdezoto

Source

• Bell, G. (2014) Why my wife and I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day. [Retrieved from: http://www.frugalrules.com/dont-celebrate-valentines-day/]
  
  
• McKenzie, S. (2012) 5 Reasons you should celebrate Valentine’s Day… Or Not! [Retrieved from: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/stephanie-d-mckenzie/five-reasons-you-should-celebrate-valentines-dayor-not]
  
  
• Mugisha, I. (2010) Society debate; Is valentine’s day worth the celebrations [Retrieved from: http://www.newtimes.co.rw/section/article/2010-02-11/93796/]
  
  
• Metal injection (2013) [Retrieved from: http://www.metalinjection.net/latest-news/the-ultimate-anti-valentines-day-playlist]

Valentine’s day

Source: http://wapomagazine.com/san-valentin-el-dia
-de-los-enamorados-y-de-la-amistad/

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that is still in use today.